Latkepalooza!

Latkepalooza at the Gershman Y

I have had it with these motherf#@king leftovers in my motherf#@king fridge!

I contributed very little to Thanksgiving this year (Remember the less-than-precise recipe for pillowy mounds of mashed potatoes from October? I did that.). Thankfully, my aunts and mom TCOB'd with a potato leek soup, butternut squash/cranberry/sunflower salad, sweet potato casserole, matzo ball soup, roasted potatoes and more...

Which brings me to my excuse for not making posts (besides swine flu):

I've been eating free pizza (work)and leftovers (home visit)and I AM SICK OF IT. I know, I know- "Sick of Free???" Sometimes you just need to get back in the kitchen and dice some motherf#@king carrots!

Close Enough Pad Thai, because let's be honest, there is zero consensus on what is supposed to be in this stuff: 15 minutes, 2 servings, $4 max, 4/2= $2 a serving

Ingredients:

• 200g Soba/Udon Noodles-- Soba vs. Udon -- Soba noodles are hearty (+), made of buckwheat (+ or -), $4/2lbs at the 6th and Washington asian supermarket. That's 9 big servings (+! if you like hearty buckwheat). Udon noodles are made of wheat flour (+?), thicker than soba (+), more widely available (+), usually cheaper than soba (+) but also NOT soba (+?). I went with soba this time. Also, it is usually bundled in either 50g or 100g sleeves for measuring purposes.
  
• 2 carrots
• 1 cup frozen peas
• 2 Tbsp. Soy Sauce
• 2 Tbsp. Peanut Butter
• 1-2 tsp. red pepper flakes
• 1 lime
  
• Sriracha (The "Rooster stuff" is a good hot sauce investment, but definitely optional)

Bean Sproutes are a nice touch, but not even close to worth the extra cost

Preperation:

1. Boil half a small pot of water.
2. Dice carrots, and add to boiling water for 5 minutes.
   
3. Add noodles and boil for 3 minutes (watch out, noodles are starchy and will bubble up!).
   
4. Add peas (cook 1 minute).
5. Drain in collander.
   
6. In the now empty pot, mix peanut butter, juice of lime, soy sauce and red pepper flakes.
7. Return noodles, et al to the pot and mix around.
8. Plate half of that mess and add sriracha--if you're not too chicken.
   

Shaka Zulu!

Stocking Stuffer

How cool is Coolio?? I am excited to find out, when I read his new cookbook!

If excerpts from Cookin' with Coolio are any indication, the book should be a staple in any poormet kitchen..

Reasons:

1. The self-styled "ghetto gourmet" or "kitchen pimp" promises to provide 5-star meals at a 1-star price (I'm all ears!)
   
2. Coolio has found his voice, is AWESOME at cleverly changing standard cooking terms (Ghettalian) and the book's got chapters like "Salad Eatin' Bitches" and "It's Hard Out Here For a Shrimp"

I should have at least 3 reasons if I am going to make a list. But I am going to have to read this book first...

In the meantime I like Shaka Zulu! as an alternative to shouting BAM! every time I crack black pepper.

Happy Bday, Mom!

My mom taught me from a young age that Finest, Giant and any other generic store brand product is "just fine, thank you very much."

Lifted straight from my inbox, this recipe convinced my engineer dad that my mom was a spicy and interesting graduate student in the late late 1970's and she's been baking it ever since. THANK YOU very much, Mom.

"Here's a recipe for you.

Ingredients

• Several heads of broccoli (cut off the bottoms of the stems and then cut the rest into bite size pieces)

• 1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup (generic is fine)

• 1 c. mayo (light is fine)

• 2+ teaspoons curry powder - to taste

• Pepperidge Farm Herb Bread Crumbs (as much as you want with a little extra on top)

Cost - no clue - you can figure that one out :)

Preparation:

1. In an ovenproof container you can mix all ingredients and bake at 350 for about 30 minutes.

With no oven, you could try this on the stove top - just won't get crispy.

Let me know if you get this email - not sure about your email address."

Mom, thank you for the Tupperware full of this delicious casserole and again, happy birthday!!!

Celebrate Vegetables and Side Dishes

Great article to get you thinking about a turkey-free Thanksgiving.

Gobble, gobble.

Tupperware News Bulletin

From coverage of genocide in Darfur, early childhood development and education, child trafficking in Southeast Asia to America's unhealthy eating habits and TUPPERWARE warnings, Nicholas Kristoff is an unbelievably productive journalist who can always be counted on for an interesting read.

This piece is from last week and warns about BPA, a synthetic estrogen found in plastics and canned foods. Scientists have linked the stuff "— though not conclusively — to everything from breast cancer to obesity, from attention deficit disorder to genital abnormalities in boys and girls alike." And, it's been found in 92% of American's piss...

Sythetic estrogen, or BPA, is "a key industrial chemical used to make polycarbonate, a raw material found in hundreds of plastic household goods and other products," according to Tupperware's website.

Dill Weed and I were just discussing the Yellow-5 scare-- when boys and teenagers across the county found out that "Doing the Dew" meant that your sperm count would drop-- and 95% of us decided that the future of our gonads was more important than enjoying a 44 oz. Mt. Dew to wash down our Laffy Taffys and Cow Tails after school. We stopped drinking it, and PepsiCo was forced to make other, more gut wrenching but not yellow, flavors of Mt. Dew.

But what other options are there in the world of food storage? Believe me, I am no more interested in consuming synthetic estrogen than I am colloidal silver, but I need to store my week's worth of lentil stew, red pepper chili, or ratatouille pasta in SOMETHING. I've rationalized that I am no longer microwaving my Tupperware containers, even if it cuts down on the dirty dishes.

Maybe Congress needs a reminder that when BPA was given to rats in clinical trials, they experienced lower sperm counts and decreased testicle weight... The little boy in all of them (save Sen. Feinstein) will cringe, even if they are being paid off by Tupperware lobbyists.

Any suggestions on ways to store and transport foods would be greatly appreciated.

Hearty ButterNut Squash Soup

It's been nearly a week since my last recipe-cum-sports commentary, and like many others in Philadelphia I've been in a state of subdued, introspective quiet following Game 6. We've taken a break from braggadocio uncharacteristic of Phillies fans.

Yep, we got taken down a peg- and that's not such a bad thing.

In fact, with all of this talk about the exorbitant spending it took to make the New York Yankees champions again, people seem to be receptive to thrift and moderation ($9 Million for Cliff Lee is a DEAL). Poormet recipes, anyone?

Hearty ButterNut Squash and Ginger Soup: 45-60 minutes, $5.00, 4 bowls, $1.25/serving

Ingredients:

• 1 Large Butternut Squash-- I bought one of these guys at the Italian Market last week for $1.50/piece, instead of at a supermarket which charges by the pound. Look for more width in the neck of the bnut, since the bulb is hollow.
  
• 1 medium onion
  
• 2 large carrots
• 2 stalks of celery
  
• 3 cloves garlic
• 1 Tablespoon of minced fresh ginger
• 2 Tablespoons of olive oil
• Salt & Pepper
• 1 overflowing Irish pint of water (22-24 ounces)
  

Preparation:

1. Butternut Squashes are these weird, phallic vegetables that can be tricky to cut. Take your 7 inch santoku and cut off the tippy top of the stem. Next, separate the bulb at the bottom. Next, place the Bnut standing upright and cut off the skin of the main section. Then, cut off the skin of the bulb. There are seeds in the bulb, so cut those out as well. Then, cut the main section into 8-10 discs 1/2 inch thick. Then, andrew DICE clay everything. Set aside.
2. Heat up 1 Tbsp olive oil in a spaghetti pot.
3. Dice onion, carrots and celery and add to pot. Cover. Cook on medium for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally.
   
4. Mince garlic and ginger and add to pot. (1 Tbsp of ginger is about the size of your thumb-as long as you don't have thin thumbs. If you've got a fat thumb, you're in luck, because your soup will taste extra fresh). Cover and cook for 2 minutes.
5. Add diced Bnut, 1 tsp of salt, 0.5 tsp of pepper, and the other Tbsp of olive oil. Stir and cook for 5 minutes.
6. Add water, COVER and cook for 25 minutes. Heat on medium. Should bubble a little bit.
7. If you have a blender (not a bad investment- saw one on craigslist for $10), turn off the heat and let the soup cool for 10 minutes or so. Then, blend it up and eat with some hearty bread (recipe, Ian???). OTHERWISE, I just ate a lumpy version of the soup and it was tasty.

Enjoy!

Phils in 5... in 2010.

NY Style Art-o-choke

Cheesecake and pizza? Forgetaboutit! The delicate and subtle new trademark for New York cooking is the art-o-choke...

A vegetable in the same family as the sunflower, artichokes are familiar to most of us in the form of a cheesy spinach dip which, while delicious, is both heart-stoppingly bad for you (watch out under-insured poormands!) and really expensive.

TIP: Get rid of the spinach and cheese, you are left with a healthy snack!

T-I-P: Buy 4 small artichokes at the Italiam Market for $1.00 RIGHT NOW! Seriously, 4 of them for $1.00 total. 25 cents-a-piece!

Don't be intimidated by its killer reputation. Step-by-step instructions on how to cook and eat the flower can be found here.

(Cutting the tips of the leaves is a nice touch, but not necessary... Also, Bay Leaves and Lemons are tasty additions if you have them, but definitely boil the artichoke with garlic and salt... Finally, eat the stem-which is attached to the heart. It's fibrous, but still very good)

Eat artichokes with a friend if you are still scared.

Phils in 7!

-PH

Essential Spices

Best spice store in the Italian Market is the Spice Corner at 904 S. 9th Street. Website: http://www.thespicecorner.com/

Salt- Gourmands love their sea salt, but I think it's overrated and lumpy. I spend $0.98 on a huge can of the iodized kind, and use an extra pinch to get my Na+Cl-

Freshly Ground Black Pepper: (call me a poormand on this one) Buy a big grinder and whole black peppercorns at a spice store. Use A LOT in cream of mushroom soup

--I make a cup of white rice in 2 cups of water OR 1 cup pearled barley in 2.5 cups water, then add 1 can condensed Cr.o.Mush, 1/2 can water, handful of diced white mushrooms (caps and all), 1 cup of frozen peas, 1 tsp salt, 3 splashes of soy sauce and lots of pepper (1-2 tsp) for a feel good soup. Add a can of black or white beans and you've got a meal--- Takes as long as the rice/barely does to cook

Garlic- Don't buy Chinese! This isn't a union-backed boycott of the stuff, it's just never good. Chinese garlic usually comes with 4-5 bulbs in a sleeve and it is cheap. But, it's also soft, has been in a container ship for weeks and is not as flavorful as American garlic. Pick the hardest, tighest individual bulbs from a basket in the grocery store.

--To Roast-- Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cut off the very top of the bulb (not the root, which holds all of the cloves together). Place on a 6x6 inch piece of aluminum foil. Drizzle 1 tsp of olive oil on top. Wrap foil around garlic. Place on a pan and cook for 1 hour. Garlic will be HOT and gooey when it gets out, so let it sit for 15 minutes before peeling.-- Great for spaghetti sauces, hummus and other spreads.

Ginger: Buy fresh at your grocery store or market. Break off a manageable piece the size of your thumb, instead of the trees that they sell. --Use in stir fry's!

Indian Spice Rack:
Cumin Seeds --put a Tbsp cumin seeds and tsp salt in with 2 cups of rice mid-way through cooking
Ground Cumin- in most curries.
Garam Masala--staple combination of many of these spices (depends on your spice store what the exact combo is, but cloves, bay leaves, star anise, nutmeg, coriander, cumin seeds and cinnomin might be in there)-- used in chana masala.
Tumeric-- gives many Indian dishes their bright orange color with a subtle, "earthy" flavor that I would describe as enjoyably metallic. Also used in Middle Eastern dishes like Falafel
Mustard Seeds --Really good on potatoes and can sometimes be found in samosas
Chili Powder- Ever order your favorite Indian dish "hot" and get a wimpy "medium" instead? Known as "white person hot" this can be a big letdown for pain enthusiasts who happen to be white. Buy the most pungent and foul chili powder you like (spice stores have multiple chili powders) and scoop it into your take on Indian cooking.
Coriander Seeds- also used in chana masala, but ground. I designated an empy McCormick Black Peppercorn grinder for Coriander Seeds.
Cardamom & Cloves--brew with Lipton tea bags for chai

I keep these spices in the bags they come in at the spice store and in my freezer. They should stay fresh longer that way and they won't stink up your cabinents.

More, relevant recipes to follow...

Phils in 5, still.

-PH

unbe-lee-vable guacamole

Sorry, had to do it. Anyone else want to be Stone Cold Cliff Lee for Halloween? A Cliff Lee jersey with its sleeves cut off, ice cold stare, confidence for days and maybe a championship ring... the man is solid and a natural-born killer. As a matter of fact, former Philadelphia Phillie pitcher Eddie Waitkus was the inspiration for The Natural's Roy Hobbs, but please NOBODY SHOOT CLIFF LEE!

What hasn't been so solid and trustworthy as Lee has been guacamole. The Avocado Lobby has been creeping out baseball fans this postseason with its nonstop pitch for us to "STOP BEING A PUSSY AND EAT GUACAMOLES!!!"

It is with deep reservation that I share this recipe for all-star guacamole, and as a poormet chef I only reccommend it if you have a cheap source for avocados (I get 2 for $1.50 at the Italian Market). But, here goes:

Unbe-LEE-vable Guacamole: 10 minutes, $4, more servings than you will get from a $4 jar, $.15 each delicious scoop

Ingredients:

• 2 ripe avocados (to speed up ripening, put into a brown paper bag in a warm & dry area)
  
• 1/2 medium onion, diced finely
• 1 large tomato (beefsteak is too rich and unnecessary. Go Roma if they're cheap and use two, or a large store brand variety)
• 1 large clove of garlic
• 1 Tbsp. cilantro (coordinate buying cilantro with making other dishes--Indian food recipe to follow soon-- cilantro is also good to mix in with white rice-- should be $0.75/bunch to $1.00)
  
• 1 jalepeno (only for the heat seekers)
• Juice of 1 lime
• Salt & Peppa
  

Preparation:

1. Poke around the stem of the avocado. If it gives some, you're good. Take a sharp knife, stab the avo, make a lengthwise-360 cut, take out the pit, and scoop out the green gold, dice, and put into your favorite large tupperware.
2. While I'm on the knife subject, buy a 7' Santuko knife. Bed, Bath & Beyond has probably sent a 20% off coupon to your Mom or Dad. Next time you visit, ask about it and buy a Calphalon knife for $15 or less- they may even throw in a 4.5 inch santuko. BB & B honors coupons forever, and the knife will last as long too. The ladies that work there are so nice they might even give you 20% off if you tell them you forgot your coupon at home.
3. Chop up tomato, add to tupperware
4. Mince up garlic, cilantro and Jalepeno (if bold enough- I am not- include seeds), add to tupperware
   
5. Squeeze that lime, add to tupperware
   
6. Add Salt and Peppa (Salt>Peppa)
7. Squish with back end of a spoon to make the guac as smooth as you'd like.
8. Take tupperware into your bathroom. Turn off all of the lights. Stare into what you think is your mirror and say Cliff Lee 3x (Cliff Lee, Cliff Lee, Cliff Lee...)
9. You will know when the guacamole is done.

Seriously though, the avocado lobby is not to be trifled with, and please use this recipe sparingly.
"Phils in 5"- JRoll

-PH

sweet and spicy red pepper chili, ftw!

Yesterday, cute and cuddly Mayor Nutter gave us another reason to vote for him, or at least guarantee that 2 lucky people will... Tickets to join him in the Mayor's Box for a World Series game!!! Just email your name, phone number and address to phillymayor@gmail.com before 5:00PM today. Philly residents and nonresidents are welcome, you just can't be a Yankees fan.

In an attempt to sweeten the deal for the mayor, you might want to offer to provide the beer, chips, or some comfort food like this vegetarian chili:

Sweet & Spicy Red Pepper Chili: 45-60 minutes, 8-10 hearty servings, $1.50/serving

Ingredients:

• 2 large carrots
  
• 1 medium onion
• 2 stalks of celery
• 4 cloves of garlic
• 1 Tbsp olive oil
• 1 large/two medium red bell pepper(s)
• 1 28 oz can of tomato sauce (store brand works)
• 2 14.5 oz cans of diced tomatoes with green chilies (store brand is a must)
• 1.5 cups of Bulgar Wheat (check in the ethnic food aisle)
• 2 16 oz cans of your favorite beans, or whatever is on sale. I like kidney, black or cannellini.
  
• 1 Tbsp Ground Cumin (spice stores are the cheapest place to find this)
• 2-3 pinches of red pepper flakes
  
• salt & pepper (to taste)

Preparation: I like to chill in the kitchen and pump up the jams with And the Moneynotes while the chili cooks...

1. Heat olive oil in a large pot.
   
2. Dice the celery, carrots, onion and red pepper. Toss in pot, cover and cook for 8 minutes. Stir at LEAST 5x.
3. Mince Garlic and add to pot. Cook 1-2 more minutes.
4. Add a few fat dashes of salt and pepper, stir.
5. Add the tomato sauce and diced tomatoes (with the liquid) and stir.
6. Bring to a boil, but be careful not to get sauce on your shirt! Use a long wooden spoon and stand back when stirring.
   
7. Add bulgar wheat (weird looking stuff, but soaks up the liquid and gives the chili great texture), red pepper flakes, Cumin, more salt and pepper.
8. Turn heat to LOW and cover for 20 minutes.
   
9. Check every 10 minutes or so and stir, especially once the bulgar wheat starts doing its magic and the chili gets thick.
10. Add the beans, stir it up, and cover for 10-15 minutes.
    
11. Taste, add more cumin and some more red pepper flakes if necessary. Should be a sweet and spicy thing going on...

-PH

You can't spell it, but it eats pretty good, don't it?

Good old Red Blow asked Roy Hobbs this beautiful question in a fancy Italian restaurant in a scene from The Natural. Apparently, Italian food used to be mysterious and new to the American public and Coach Blow could not pronounce fettuccine. Today however, we know better. Italian food is rarely worth buying at a restaurant because...

1.) your favorite $13 entree can probably be made for under $5
2.) you are capable of actually making the pasta al dente, instead of a gooey, overcooked mess.
3.) The Phillies are playing, and the Olive Garden doesn't have TV's (I don't think it does, does it?)

Poormet, pronounced pu̇r-ˌmā, brings together the collective knowlege of Mr. Potato Head, Dill Weed and friends to share recipes that are cheap, easy and delicious. Despite what a Youtube search brings up, poormet is NOT searing ahi tuna on a coffee maker in a Hawaiian hotel. Poormet cooking requires you to be creative and resourceful, but if you're staying in a Hawaian hotel without a kitchen, plan ahead and pack yourself some of this lentil stew. It keeps for at least a week, but you will eat it sooner.

Lentil Stew: 45-60 minutes, 4 heaping servings, Conservative Estimate of $1.50/serving

Ingredients:

• 1 cup dried lentils
• 2 large carrots
• 1 medium onion
• 2 large stalks of celery
• 3 cloves of garlic
• 1 Tbsp Olive Oil
• 1 Bay Leaf
• Salt and Pepper
  

Preparation: Don't let the number of steps fool you. This s%$t is easy!

1. Heat olive oil in a large pot.
   
2. Dice the celery, carrots and onion. Toss in pot, cover and cook for 8 minutes. Stir at LEAST 5x.
   
3. Mince Garlic and add to pot. Cook 1-2 more minutes.
4. Add a few fat dashes of salt and pepper, stir.
5. Add 2.5 cups of water, 1 cup of dry lentils (inspect and remove possible pebbles) and bay leaf, bring to boil, reduce to a low bubbling and cover for 20 minutes.
   
6. Keep that lid on!
7. Stir that stew!
8. Put that cover back on! Reduce the heat further to simmer for 10 minutes. Keep the bay leaf buried in the middle. The longer it stays in, the more flavor for you and yours.
9. I like to let the stew sit another 10-15 minutes with no heat from underneath, add more salt and pepper, and eat one heaping portion after another. It's good for you too!

- PH

POTATOES: boil 'em, mash 'em, put 'em in a..

Dill Weed and Mr. Potato Head got together one day in the kitchen for lunch. Mr. PH got all hot and bothered when DW pointed out a new eye that was growing on Mr. PH's knee and exclaimed,

"PH, what the hell man?! How old ARE you?"
"Leave me alone, I'm having yet another long and crumby day."
"At least let me take a look at that eye, old bud-dy."
"No, I like my eyes!" cried PH as he rolled back in horror.

A 3.5 inch paring knife flew in from above and made quick work of Mr. PH's eyes, gouging them out one-by-one. Eyeless and sad, Mr. PH agreed with the insistent voice of the towering knifeman, who said PH could use a cold, cold shower, a quick and uniform dismemberment, and a hot, bubbling 15-20 minute bath.

"At least I will still have my beautiful red skin," Mr. PH ration-alized.

After that ordeal, Mr. PH's brains were moosh. He gave himself up to the holy masher and rather enjoyed the splash of 2 % milk, gob of unsalted butter and shakes of iodized salt and freshly-ground pepper that joined him in the bowl.

If he still had eyes (or a head, for that matter), Mr PH would have cried with joy when he was joined by his old friend, DW.